I feel like I’m going to lose everyone. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of them already.
I don’t know what to do, what to say, how to get them back, how to prevent them from going.
I don’t know if they want to lose me or if they want to hold on. Maybe they care, maybe they don’t.
It happened a while ago, but I didn’t truly realize it until yesterday. I saw you guys together and… I was crushed. It used to be me. It could be me. It should be me. And yet, it wasn’t. I’ve been replaced. Someone new has taken my spot. I’m not entirely sure what happened to change things like this. What did I do wrong? I don’t want things to be like this anymore. I want them to be the way they were.
I think I made it all up in my head. Again. I read too much into it and made it out to be something so much bigger than it actually was. But now that I know the reality, I have to deal with the disappointment. The sad fact that dreams and reality are rarely the same thing. And the fact that no matter how much I want the dream to stay alive, we all have to wake up eventually.