So, for those of you who are unaware, as a general rule, I hate birthdays.
Most people don’t understand this and get really upset. But why shouldn’t I?
I’ve had some truly shitty birthdays in the past. Namely, my 16th birthday, which I broad-casted and yet no one remembered, and my 18th, which just wound up being an epic fail.
Today, however, was awesome. Like seriously. Every single person who wished me a happy birthday, be it by text, on Facebook, or in person, just kept me happy all day long. My roommate & suitemates put balloons and candy all over my bed, which was a wonderful surprise after chemistry. And then spending time with my boy toy just made it even better. I like him. I like him a lot, actually. I haven’t liked someone this much in a while.
Overall, I would deem today a successful birthday. I’m quite the happy camper.
I spent the day with the two people in this world who always manage to make me happy no matter what, at the happiest place on earth, the place where I grew up. Even though I’m leaving in a few days, they’ll be with me wherever I go. I know that. There’s no way we’ll ever let each other go. 15 plus years of friendship and counting. This chapter of our life may be ending, but I’m so excited to see what the next one has in store for us.
I feel like I’m going to lose everyone. I feel like I’ve lost a lot of them already.
I don’t know what to do, what to say, how to get them back, how to prevent them from going.
I don’t know if they want to lose me or if they want to hold on. Maybe they care, maybe they don’t.
It happened a while ago, but I didn’t truly realize it until yesterday. I saw you guys together and… I was crushed. It used to be me. It could be me. It should be me. And yet, it wasn’t. I’ve been replaced. Someone new has taken my spot. I’m not entirely sure what happened to change things like this. What did I do wrong? I don’t want things to be like this anymore. I want them to be the way they were.
(500) Days of Summer